Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Thirty...something





I ran across this article today...thought I would give some answers!

"In 1997, Glamour magazine published a story titled "30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30." The list, written by Pamela Redmond Satran, was so popular that women started emailing it around, misattributing it to various female luminaries including Maya Angelou and Hillary Clinton. Noting what a phenomenon it had become, the editors of Glamour created a book around it, featuring essays from (mostly) famous women on each of the items on the list. The book, released today, includes meditations from Katie Couric on work and love, Portia de Rossi on accepting your body, and one from the list's original author, who is also a Huffington Post blogger, on how to live alone.
Because the list still makes us so, so happy, we asked Glamour's permission to reprint it here:"
I am posting it here, giving FULL credit for the statements to Glamour magazine...these are not my questions...but the answers are my own.
By 30, you should have ...
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.        My husband is both ironically enough. 
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.   Not a one.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.  
Done and DONE.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.   Nothing I wear or carry makes me feel ashamed.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.      This is a loaded statement.  I will never think that I cannot at least "act" like a kid with my kids...that would be a detriment to them.  They LOVE seeing mommy act silly like she used to.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.  Well, not ALL of it...but most of it!
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.     I am 35 years old and I would love to believe that I will make it to a ripe old age, but as far as the $ to help fund it...not so sure.  I am trying $5 at a time...but how far can that get you?  At the rate the government is going, and the economy...it is a crap shoot.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.    I have one of these three...not gonna say which.  =)
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.   I can honestly say mine is NOT padded.  My work ethic speaks for itself.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.  I am SO incredibly lucky to say I have 5 of those!
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.     Check, check and check!!
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.  I wear it around my neck every day!
13. The belief that you deserve it.    100%.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.      "Oil of Olay everyday!"  Exercise=3 kids and the gym time I get at work.  A plan...fuck a plan...I take each day as it comes and fight each battle accordingly.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.   I have a great job, a more than satisfying relationship with my amazing husband, three beautiful and smart and inspiring daughters that leave me breathless daily in one way or another, a wonderful family and a tremendous "chosen family".  My career IS my family...and all those in it.  I love the life God has seen fit to bless me with.  On bad days, I know it is a test.  One thing I have learned since turning 30...as long as you do your very best, as long as you are a good person, as long as you live by the golden rule...you will be rewarded.  Even though I struggle financially now...I know He is on my side and my family and myself will get through it all.  No matter what...we will prevail.


By 30, you should know ...
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.  I may have lost myself in my husband in the beginning...but I was never really lost.  I am still here...outspoken as ever...and ready to take on anything!
2. How you feel about having kids.    My feeling about kids...well, I have the most wonderful daughters.  I am so thankful for all three and could not imagine my life without them!
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.   Well, I can say this...the first two were easy...but the third is not so lucky.  Most times when I confront a friend...it leaves me without that person.  A good thing too, because obviously they were not much of a friend.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.  I have "almost" mastered this.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.    Just ask my husband.  ;)
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.  Hillary should be president not just Secretary of State.  My great grandmothers I remember, one sweet as sugar the other sour as vinegar, I got an even mix of both in me.  A tailor?  I'm sorry...but let me get back to you when I make my first million.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.   I could do it...but would never want ot live this life without my husband and children.
8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.    My room.  My basement.  Surrounded by MY art, MY words, MY knick knacks that make me me.  Yoga is nice too.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.    I am FINALLY comfortable in my own skin to a point.  Not to say I would not change something if I could.  I would, because I am vain in that respect a bit.  Cannot be helped...that's just me.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.  BULLSHIT!  Your childhood is never over so long as you have kids to pass it along to.  So yes...my children will play ghost in the graveyard @ night...my kids will have an imagination instead of relying on TV to give them one...and so on and so forth.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.  Would do for money?  Nothing questionable.  Would do for love?  For the love of my husband and family...I would take a bullet for those I love.  Period.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.   We shall see...about the first two. =)
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.   Done, done and done.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.    Figured this out a long time ago.
15. Why they say life begins at 30.   It really does.  I didn't figure out any of this until I gave birth to my first child.  Which technically was 28.  But who's counting?  =)


"What's on your personal list of things to have and know -- and possibly do -- before turning 30?"

So there you have it.  I have totally conformed.  A questionnaire within a blog.  The bottom of the barrel of ideas.  Looking outwards instead of in.  Well...all I can say is that tonight...this is all I could muster.  Hope it was a good read...somewhat of an insight into who I am.  Heavy emphasis on the somewhat.

Til next time...
XOXO

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

This entry may not make sense at all...what's your point?


Well HELLLOOO y'all!! Been awhile, yes I know. I am aware that "slacker" is an understatement when describing my blog habits. I am NOT going to apologize though. My life is one big fat crazy mess of hormones and tee ball and work and speech therapy and housework and...well, all things that come with being a wife and mother. There are quite a few things that are on my mind that would be considered a "hot button" issue. But I may just focus on one.singular.issue. It may just make things worse for a certain party...but the things on my mind need to get out of my mind and off my chest. I am really trying to be good...and not insert my opinionated self onto others. I have been thus far. I am not going to name names...or go into detail...this shall be an overview, a Cliffs Notes if you will, a brief angst-filled outlook on a situation. I will say, I do not boast any authority or education on relationships whatsoever! Hence the picture above, I am one of the "dummies" learning as I go along.

It took me a LONG time to become comfortable and confident in my own skin. I completely understand those that are insecure about themselves. I know where they are coming from. Once I had kids...that insecurity went out the window. Now it is about me and this little one right here. NO man will define me. Yes, I love my husband and our life and I thank God every day that he is my husband and an amazing father. I have girls...and they will be raised to sustain a life on their own...never defined by a man. This is getting off topic...but really it is about maturity. I have never, and will never claim to be the best mother or wife on Earth. However, when things are not as I'd like...I don't run up to my husband and scream and whine about it. We figure it out...together.

Now, that said...some ladies...choose a darker path. They rely on a man to validate their worth. "Oh, I cannot live without you." Or they throw in a jab about past relationships, totally disregarding that they have a past of their own. Insecurity at its best if you ask me. Some women like to make excuses for this. Double standard much?

Some take it to another extreme, violent extremes perhaps. More than once, and still make excuses. There is NO excuse for violence. If it has gotten to that point, obviously something is terribly wrong with your relationship. Scared to let go, scared of change...those things are understandable. Violence against the one you claim to love? NEVER understandable.

Now, taking the above two paragraphs into consideration...I am not completely heartless. I can sympathize to a point. And would have. But lying about it? I draw the line...the only time? No...this was not the ONLY time. Merry Christmas ring a bell? I have held my tongue for a long while. You have no right to do what you have done. NOTHING was done to you. In a drunken state you may have twisted things in your head to think so, but in reality...it wasn't. Defensively maybe...but never maliciously.

I am left with resentment, anger, sadness and disbelief as far as it goes. It sucks, for lack of a better word. I had high hopes and was left disappointed. I have no need or want for an explanation. It means nothing to me at this point.

In summation, life is entirely too short to waste it being unhappy. Live each day like it is your last. You'd be surprised at how happy you could be. Don't fret about the past...it is called that for a reason. The future is yours and it is there for the taking. For everyone of us that wants one. I personally do, and I look forward to each and every day...no mater how insane it may turn out to be with my husband and girls and Zhoe and that damn dog Dude. I LOVE my life! I may vent and complain from time to time...but I also know that this life is gonna throw some curve balls and I may not be ready for them...but my family will get through them. We will throw that ball back and line up in the dug out to hit another one outta the park! How's that for an American past time kinda ending to this entry?